Well, the Holidays are over and things are getting back on track.
The kids are settled into their routines and we are trying to get back into the swing of things too.
With family and people around over the Holidays, TIH has taken more of a back seat, but I hope we can get back on the wagon with that as well.
I think we made it through the Holidays pretty well, and there was really just NO time for me to be in trouble (or so I thought) I guess I'd have to ask Thom about that one, I did get a few warnings here and there!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Friday, December 30, 2011
Down Time
I'm finally finding some down time after Christmas.
Today is a tiny bit, we are trying to clean the house for New Years. I was thinking how nice it would be to start the New Year off with a clean house and all of my girls laundry put away!
I hope that can happen.
I'm also feeling the sting of a small punishment spanking last night (maybe it will motivate me NOT to sit much today?) as stress and words just kept spilling out of my mouth at Thom.
I really talked myself into this one, knew it was coming and just gave in... I had a bit of fight in me towards the beginning of the day, but as I was warned, I began to cool off and by the time the kids were in bed, I just wanted it over with!!
Well, about 20 swats later and a final 10 with the belt I'm still feeling it today.
It's strange reading and or typing that. Just a few months go a belt would never be considered. It's not a full force thing of course, it's just a thing different than a hand and I think it was used more as a getting a final point across, hitting home thing maybe. We experimented with it and both agreed on what could be tolerated.
If I had to admit it, feeling the sting the next day makes for a good reminder!
Today is a tiny bit, we are trying to clean the house for New Years. I was thinking how nice it would be to start the New Year off with a clean house and all of my girls laundry put away!
I hope that can happen.
I'm also feeling the sting of a small punishment spanking last night (maybe it will motivate me NOT to sit much today?) as stress and words just kept spilling out of my mouth at Thom.
I really talked myself into this one, knew it was coming and just gave in... I had a bit of fight in me towards the beginning of the day, but as I was warned, I began to cool off and by the time the kids were in bed, I just wanted it over with!!
Well, about 20 swats later and a final 10 with the belt I'm still feeling it today.
It's strange reading and or typing that. Just a few months go a belt would never be considered. It's not a full force thing of course, it's just a thing different than a hand and I think it was used more as a getting a final point across, hitting home thing maybe. We experimented with it and both agreed on what could be tolerated.
If I had to admit it, feeling the sting the next day makes for a good reminder!
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
There is NO time!
For blogging! It's almost Christmas and with 4 kids things are really crazy right now.
I hope to blog more during the holiday break, but the house will be full for two weeks straight.
I will miss my quiet mornings with just one little one here. Now there will be all four of them!
Wish me luck!
Have a joyous Christmas and New Year if I don't get a chance to get back to this.
I hope to blog more during the holiday break, but the house will be full for two weeks straight.
I will miss my quiet mornings with just one little one here. Now there will be all four of them!
Wish me luck!
Have a joyous Christmas and New Year if I don't get a chance to get back to this.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Outside of blog world?
Outside of blogger land, where I have only read most about spanking in a dd/tih or a ttwd relationships, Thom's friend send him this.
It was sort of amusing, as it's not in relation to dd in any way, but just simple spanking in general.
http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_150/180_love_tip.html
I can't imagine though, us ever trying that before we had heard about dd, but then again maybe it's just me and maybe guys have the urge to want to spank more than women do. I guess I never thought much about spanking until we started, although, I wouldn't have life without it now!
It was sort of amusing, as it's not in relation to dd in any way, but just simple spanking in general.
http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_150/180_love_tip.html
I can't imagine though, us ever trying that before we had heard about dd, but then again maybe it's just me and maybe guys have the urge to want to spank more than women do. I guess I never thought much about spanking until we started, although, I wouldn't have life without it now!
Friday, December 2, 2011
Fun spankings?
After questioning myself on why we do what we do (following an argument with a friend) I reflected back on what I call "fun spankings"
Little playful swats in everyday life that were harmless and fun.
Fun of course because Thom would use them playfully, but I always sensed that maybe he meant it in some ways for real.
Some of these came out as more truths after we started DD / TIH. All of those playful little teasing and such were actually things he wanted to spank me for, for real, but NOT as true punishment spankings. Well, maybe more of reminders, but in a fun way.
Fun because Thom is more than likely a spanko (though he would never call himself that, but he does enjoy giving them) and I guess I'm probably one as well because I enjoy the light hearted reminder kinds.
The point of this post is actually about all the types of spankings and what they can mean, and also that having many types of spankings is OK and not confusing if you talk about it before hand.
Something happened after our first try with punishment spanking. It seemed like Thom avoided any and all types of "fun spankings" for a few weeks.
I think maybe it was the shock value of actually giving a punishment spanking.
I sort of missed his playfulness, and I told him we needed to talk about it.
While it was hard to do, I told him I missed how playful he used to be and actually missed his little swats here and there throughout the day.
I didn't want to confuse you - was what he told me.
I told him I wouldn't be confused, but we had to figure out how spanking was going to work in our life if we were going to do this.
I didn't want to just wait around for a punishment spanking for breaking a rule.
The hardest part of that was having to admit that I liked his playful ways, and liked being spanked.
This was so confusing trying to talk about.
The main thing we figured out (as two people who were both ok with spanking in general) was that we could agree on using a few types of spankings.
One of course was punishment spanking, this was for breaking a major rule.
One was a reminder spanking - this was something totally spur of the moment. It was like the straightener in the sink issue. Thom was fed up over it and decided to spank right then and there, but only a few swats.
These are quite harmless spankings of course and to be honest, I sort of like them!
I just like that he has finally come to terms with the want to spank me and then acting on it in that way.
*(important note here - this whole things gets easier when the guy, boyfriend, HOH, wife even - whatever you want to call it- can get real with their feelings enough to know when to spank and do it because THEY want to spank. Coming to terms with this was the biggest hurdle we have had in this whole relationship! Be honest in your feelings and act on them. Some of the best points made to me were in a heated argument and I was pulled over his knee and told I was going to be spanked for _____, and asked if I understood why. He had finally had enough of something and just went with his feelings. I would have to say 98% of the time he was right in feeling it.)*
Another are erotic spankings, you can imagine those for yourself.
and the last one is something we do not do yet, but we are in the talks about.
Maintenance spankings.
We are not sure how to go about these as we seem to have different views on them as well as thinking of using them differently than other people describe.
Maintenance for most is more of spanking to show and remind who the boss / HOH is.
This is something Thom has always had a struggle with, as he can show leadership, but is not too much into being over me as a HOH, so we are unsure how we can use this type of spanking. He will spank when he wants to or needs to, but he does not want to micromanage my days or anything.
Thom was thinking of using it as more of a spank now no problems later kind of thing, or weekly reminder spanking, but I personally don't see a problem with saying it's to establish him in his role and I'm OK with it.
We will have to see where that leads.
Reading blogs can give you many many ideas for sure! I have never learned so much and been so glad to see how others add this into their lives.
By the way, I've turned off commenting for a day or so. Had someone bother me Anon, so I may bring back the comments, just use confirmation or something.
UPDATE
I came back to update that Thom decided on Maintenance, but he said he's going to call it "Confessionals"
He said this will be when he pulls me OTK and questions me if there is anything I need to confess! Then depending on the issues, he will punish accordingly.
I'm not so sure about that! We will have to talk more, but he says it will always result in a spanking, just the degree will be modified.
Yikes!
*I forgot to add something that another blogger reminded me of.
Of those times when I become an evil green eyed monster, fussing, yelling and being short with the household we have something Thom calls "Reset" spankings.
I've seen others refer to these as well.
It's just sort of a "woman caught up in the stress and craziness of life" sort of thing for me.
I get ill mannered, ill tempered, argue, bicker, talk with attitude to our children and make things in the house hard for everyone. Thom will sometimes ask if I need "reset" and while most of the time I'd say NO, he usually is only asking to see if I'd ever say yes, and he fully intends to spank me anyways no matter what the answer is.
I can honestly admit that "resetting" works for me. I don't know WHY, but it does.
Little playful swats in everyday life that were harmless and fun.
Fun of course because Thom would use them playfully, but I always sensed that maybe he meant it in some ways for real.
Some of these came out as more truths after we started DD / TIH. All of those playful little teasing and such were actually things he wanted to spank me for, for real, but NOT as true punishment spankings. Well, maybe more of reminders, but in a fun way.
Fun because Thom is more than likely a spanko (though he would never call himself that, but he does enjoy giving them) and I guess I'm probably one as well because I enjoy the light hearted reminder kinds.
The point of this post is actually about all the types of spankings and what they can mean, and also that having many types of spankings is OK and not confusing if you talk about it before hand.
Something happened after our first try with punishment spanking. It seemed like Thom avoided any and all types of "fun spankings" for a few weeks.
I think maybe it was the shock value of actually giving a punishment spanking.
I sort of missed his playfulness, and I told him we needed to talk about it.
While it was hard to do, I told him I missed how playful he used to be and actually missed his little swats here and there throughout the day.
I didn't want to confuse you - was what he told me.
I told him I wouldn't be confused, but we had to figure out how spanking was going to work in our life if we were going to do this.
I didn't want to just wait around for a punishment spanking for breaking a rule.
The hardest part of that was having to admit that I liked his playful ways, and liked being spanked.
This was so confusing trying to talk about.
The main thing we figured out (as two people who were both ok with spanking in general) was that we could agree on using a few types of spankings.
One of course was punishment spanking, this was for breaking a major rule.
One was a reminder spanking - this was something totally spur of the moment. It was like the straightener in the sink issue. Thom was fed up over it and decided to spank right then and there, but only a few swats.
These are quite harmless spankings of course and to be honest, I sort of like them!
I just like that he has finally come to terms with the want to spank me and then acting on it in that way.
*(important note here - this whole things gets easier when the guy, boyfriend, HOH, wife even - whatever you want to call it- can get real with their feelings enough to know when to spank and do it because THEY want to spank. Coming to terms with this was the biggest hurdle we have had in this whole relationship! Be honest in your feelings and act on them. Some of the best points made to me were in a heated argument and I was pulled over his knee and told I was going to be spanked for _____, and asked if I understood why. He had finally had enough of something and just went with his feelings. I would have to say 98% of the time he was right in feeling it.)*
Another are erotic spankings, you can imagine those for yourself.
and the last one is something we do not do yet, but we are in the talks about.
Maintenance spankings.
We are not sure how to go about these as we seem to have different views on them as well as thinking of using them differently than other people describe.
Maintenance for most is more of spanking to show and remind who the boss / HOH is.
This is something Thom has always had a struggle with, as he can show leadership, but is not too much into being over me as a HOH, so we are unsure how we can use this type of spanking. He will spank when he wants to or needs to, but he does not want to micromanage my days or anything.
Thom was thinking of using it as more of a spank now no problems later kind of thing, or weekly reminder spanking, but I personally don't see a problem with saying it's to establish him in his role and I'm OK with it.
We will have to see where that leads.
Reading blogs can give you many many ideas for sure! I have never learned so much and been so glad to see how others add this into their lives.
By the way, I've turned off commenting for a day or so. Had someone bother me Anon, so I may bring back the comments, just use confirmation or something.
UPDATE
I came back to update that Thom decided on Maintenance, but he said he's going to call it "Confessionals"
He said this will be when he pulls me OTK and questions me if there is anything I need to confess! Then depending on the issues, he will punish accordingly.
I'm not so sure about that! We will have to talk more, but he says it will always result in a spanking, just the degree will be modified.
Yikes!
*I forgot to add something that another blogger reminded me of.
Of those times when I become an evil green eyed monster, fussing, yelling and being short with the household we have something Thom calls "Reset" spankings.
I've seen others refer to these as well.
It's just sort of a "woman caught up in the stress and craziness of life" sort of thing for me.
I get ill mannered, ill tempered, argue, bicker, talk with attitude to our children and make things in the house hard for everyone. Thom will sometimes ask if I need "reset" and while most of the time I'd say NO, he usually is only asking to see if I'd ever say yes, and he fully intends to spank me anyways no matter what the answer is.
I can honestly admit that "resetting" works for me. I don't know WHY, but it does.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Been awhile - back to blogging
It's been a bit.
I recently had a falling out with a friend over DD / TIH / that thing we do... whatever you want to call it.
I never planned on this friend finding out about Thom and I because I knew she was a little over the top, a very feminist kind of girl, but someone who I used to identify with so well... and now not so much.
She found out about our lifestyle and of course was outraged.
She said I needed to leave, take my kids and go... she went all out.
She really just wouldn't listen to what I had to say and it ended with me siding with my husband of course and she and I no longer speaking.
Afterwards, I began to feel kind of weird, almost silly and stupid for practicing DD.
I was questioning myself and why we were doing what we did.
We talked a lot about it and I even re read all my blogs. It helped a bit.
I have not questioned it as much as I did over the past few weeks.
"HOW can this be something you want"? she asked me..
I just couldn't explain it to her. It's almost like now I need it. I need it to deal with and handle my feelings. It's my release and it's how we can connect at times.
"What could you possible gain from this"? she had also asked...
Well, that one I thought a lot about. Sure I can talk up how great it is, but did it really HELP.. has it helped?
For one thing I can see a change in my husband. He has become more confidant, and to this I could see her saying "How can he be more confidant? because he beats his wife"?
No.... it's SO not like that.
It's more than that.
It's about taking charge of a situation, taking charge of me, taking charge of our family and making sure we are all ok and honestly... making sure we feel loved and cared for.
Him stepping up and learning to read me, and to know my needs (and if and when and how to spank me) has challenged him and made him more aware of me and from that we have grown SO close. I really just can't describe it, but I know that when I'm lost, he is my rock and I can not even begin to explain how comfortable that makes me feel inside.
I know our marriage is for the long road because of this.
How else is he confidant? I think just getting through starting DD/ TIH made him come out of his shell. getting over those few few bumps was tough, but he became more assertive in daily life, not just with me.
The difference in our girls is amazing to.
Daddy is seen in a different light now and also, seeing "daddy and mommy" loving one another has also impacted them for the good not to mention we fight less than ever because he knows when to "take me in hand" so to say.
These past few weeks have been hard for me, but I'm glad I got through it and realized not to doubt WHO we are and what we are doing.
I've read many other blogs out there of other happy couples doing this too and writing this gave me the final push to erase any doubt I felt after my argument with my friend.
I can only hope one day we can talk more openly about this all and I can share with her that I AM happy and NOT hurt or abused.
Oh, I also wanted to mention a wonderful blog post about beginning this all.
I hope it's ok to link. I have read a ton of blogs and I really liked this post:
Knowing your Roles - In the beginning
I felt a bit of the same way a bit, and it is always interesting to see how couples begin this crazy journey!
I recently had a falling out with a friend over DD / TIH / that thing we do... whatever you want to call it.
I never planned on this friend finding out about Thom and I because I knew she was a little over the top, a very feminist kind of girl, but someone who I used to identify with so well... and now not so much.
She found out about our lifestyle and of course was outraged.
She said I needed to leave, take my kids and go... she went all out.
She really just wouldn't listen to what I had to say and it ended with me siding with my husband of course and she and I no longer speaking.
Afterwards, I began to feel kind of weird, almost silly and stupid for practicing DD.
I was questioning myself and why we were doing what we did.
We talked a lot about it and I even re read all my blogs. It helped a bit.
I have not questioned it as much as I did over the past few weeks.
"HOW can this be something you want"? she asked me..
I just couldn't explain it to her. It's almost like now I need it. I need it to deal with and handle my feelings. It's my release and it's how we can connect at times.
"What could you possible gain from this"? she had also asked...
Well, that one I thought a lot about. Sure I can talk up how great it is, but did it really HELP.. has it helped?
For one thing I can see a change in my husband. He has become more confidant, and to this I could see her saying "How can he be more confidant? because he beats his wife"?
No.... it's SO not like that.
It's more than that.
It's about taking charge of a situation, taking charge of me, taking charge of our family and making sure we are all ok and honestly... making sure we feel loved and cared for.
Him stepping up and learning to read me, and to know my needs (and if and when and how to spank me) has challenged him and made him more aware of me and from that we have grown SO close. I really just can't describe it, but I know that when I'm lost, he is my rock and I can not even begin to explain how comfortable that makes me feel inside.
I know our marriage is for the long road because of this.
How else is he confidant? I think just getting through starting DD/ TIH made him come out of his shell. getting over those few few bumps was tough, but he became more assertive in daily life, not just with me.
The difference in our girls is amazing to.
Daddy is seen in a different light now and also, seeing "daddy and mommy" loving one another has also impacted them for the good not to mention we fight less than ever because he knows when to "take me in hand" so to say.
These past few weeks have been hard for me, but I'm glad I got through it and realized not to doubt WHO we are and what we are doing.
I've read many other blogs out there of other happy couples doing this too and writing this gave me the final push to erase any doubt I felt after my argument with my friend.
I can only hope one day we can talk more openly about this all and I can share with her that I AM happy and NOT hurt or abused.
Oh, I also wanted to mention a wonderful blog post about beginning this all.
I hope it's ok to link. I have read a ton of blogs and I really liked this post:
Knowing your Roles - In the beginning
I felt a bit of the same way a bit, and it is always interesting to see how couples begin this crazy journey!
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Tension
Tension.
I hate tension in the household.
Thankfully, wether it's welcomed or not (spankings that it), living in a dd / tih marriage seems to keep tension at bay.
This weekend however was tension and not at bay for me.
I'm not sure how it started, well, I guess I have to be honest when I say I know how it started. It starts when I hold back things, thought and feelings.
I was feeling moody, and or had felt moody a bit towards Thom.
He'd been busy at work, then was sitting around reading his nook most of the night Friday and I was tending to kids.
I don't know if I was feeling sorry for myself, but whatever it was I was getting deeper and deeper into my cloud. We both went to bed and got up for church with mild little bickering here and there and by late afternoon, it was obvious.
The tension.
Thom felt it, I felt it but I think I was ignoring it.
What is the cure for the tension that isn't talked about and turns into a slightly moody wife? A few warnings and then BAM! it's taken care of. Nipped in the bud as he likes to say.
As much as I hate to admit it, I feel better now, there is no longer tension in the house or in me.
Why can't I see myself get into these clouds? (he asked me this) moreover, why can't I just talk to him before it turns into the ugly gray cloud (he call it that, my ugly gray cloud)
I think the warnings and the spanking are; one to pull me out of the cloud, and two to remind me of what I should have done in the first place - talk about it so it doesn't get bad enough to get to a spanking.
I do know better, but I let myself get into these things so easily. It also doesn't happen as often as it used to, so maybe something is working in that area.
I was thinking about all the things I've been spanked for. I can honestly think that it's one of a few reasons and always seems to be those things (as we do not practice maintenance spankings here - I don't even know if he knows about that. I don't think he would want to do that as he has a small issue with really saying he is HOH and that I need reminded of that by weekly sessions)
Most of the time it's been for breaking me out of the cloud, sometimes it's been for just having a nasty attitude and being disrespectful (maybe even being bratty), and only a few times has it been for the silly things - the straightener in the sink, the lost drivers license (times 4!), for leaving my ATM card in the machine and then not having it while I was out with 4 kids and a full cart at the store and once for messing around with something he directly said not to (cables for the computer) and doing it anyways then messing up a bunch of stuff... those are always lighter spankings and more swats with a brush.
Whatever it is, I can't put my finger on it, but it actually works. I don't know if it's a release for me or him sometimes.
I hate tension in the household.
Thankfully, wether it's welcomed or not (spankings that it), living in a dd / tih marriage seems to keep tension at bay.
This weekend however was tension and not at bay for me.
I'm not sure how it started, well, I guess I have to be honest when I say I know how it started. It starts when I hold back things, thought and feelings.
I was feeling moody, and or had felt moody a bit towards Thom.
He'd been busy at work, then was sitting around reading his nook most of the night Friday and I was tending to kids.
I don't know if I was feeling sorry for myself, but whatever it was I was getting deeper and deeper into my cloud. We both went to bed and got up for church with mild little bickering here and there and by late afternoon, it was obvious.
The tension.
Thom felt it, I felt it but I think I was ignoring it.
What is the cure for the tension that isn't talked about and turns into a slightly moody wife? A few warnings and then BAM! it's taken care of. Nipped in the bud as he likes to say.
As much as I hate to admit it, I feel better now, there is no longer tension in the house or in me.
Why can't I see myself get into these clouds? (he asked me this) moreover, why can't I just talk to him before it turns into the ugly gray cloud (he call it that, my ugly gray cloud)
I think the warnings and the spanking are; one to pull me out of the cloud, and two to remind me of what I should have done in the first place - talk about it so it doesn't get bad enough to get to a spanking.
I do know better, but I let myself get into these things so easily. It also doesn't happen as often as it used to, so maybe something is working in that area.
I was thinking about all the things I've been spanked for. I can honestly think that it's one of a few reasons and always seems to be those things (as we do not practice maintenance spankings here - I don't even know if he knows about that. I don't think he would want to do that as he has a small issue with really saying he is HOH and that I need reminded of that by weekly sessions)
Most of the time it's been for breaking me out of the cloud, sometimes it's been for just having a nasty attitude and being disrespectful (maybe even being bratty), and only a few times has it been for the silly things - the straightener in the sink, the lost drivers license (times 4!), for leaving my ATM card in the machine and then not having it while I was out with 4 kids and a full cart at the store and once for messing around with something he directly said not to (cables for the computer) and doing it anyways then messing up a bunch of stuff... those are always lighter spankings and more swats with a brush.
Whatever it is, I can't put my finger on it, but it actually works. I don't know if it's a release for me or him sometimes.
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