Those are simple questions that have deep roots.
I have seen a post and wanted to share parts of it that I thought stood out as far as these questions go. For many people, spanking not only makes them accountable for their actions and helps correct them, it's also about letting go of emotional baggage that clutter many women's heads.
At its core, spanking is a form of nonverbal communication. Counting and clock watching during a spanking makes about as much sense as limiting an important discussion to five minutes or twenty-five words.
The two humps to be crossed during a first spanking are usually embarrassment over needing to be spanked like a child and anger arising from actually being spanked. While they may diminish over time, the venting can be quite pronounced the first time.
One strategy is to allow the woman to vent her feelings beforehand. Listen to all the objections, all the excuses. Even tolerate little white lies. Let her says everything she has to say, knowing at the end, she is going to get a spanking. For once a woman sees herself spanked, in her own mind, the rest is merely going through the motions.
When it comes to the actual spanking, a woman's embarrassment is more easily dealt with than her rage. Even if she has never been spanked in her life, or claims that her father never pulled her pants down when he spanked her, there is an instinctive understanding that loss of protective clothing is usually a given.
However, a frustrated woman's raging anger while she is being spanked may be something for which a man may be totally unprepared once a woman begins to lose her grip on the protection of a tightly held mystique. It is also something from which he should learn about her inner thoughts and motives.
A first spanking should never be ended when a woman is in a mid-stream of anger. It will breed the same resentment as building a woman to orgasm and leaving her hanging. In many cases, especially as women marry at a later age and have more partners, women come into a relationship with a ton of emotional and psychological baggage that needs to be offloaded of the marriage is to survive.
when it comes time for that first post-marital spanking - and in almost every relationship between a man and a woman, there will be that time - both parties sense that something needs to be done to break the a deadlock or power struggle.
The two humps to be crossed during a first spanking are usually embarrassment over needing to be spanked like a child and anger arising from actually being spanked. While they may diminish over time, the venting can be quite pronounced the first time.
One strategy is to allow the woman to vent her feelings beforehand. Listen to all the objections, all the excuses. Even tolerate little white lies. Let her says everything she has to say, knowing at the end, she is going to get a spanking. For once a woman sees herself spanked, in her own mind, the rest is merely going through the motions.
When it comes to the actual spanking, a woman's embarrassment is more easily dealt with than her rage. Even if she has never been spanked in her life, or claims that her father never pulled her pants down when he spanked her, there is an instinctive understanding that loss of protective clothing is usually a given.
However, a frustrated woman's raging anger while she is being spanked may be something for which a man may be totally unprepared once a woman begins to lose her grip on the protection of a tightly held mystique. It is also something from which he should learn about her inner thoughts and motives.
A first spanking should never be ended when a woman is in a mid-stream of anger. It will breed the same resentment as building a woman to orgasm and leaving her hanging. In many cases, especially as women marry at a later age and have more partners, women come into a relationship with a ton of emotional and psychological baggage that needs to be offloaded of the marriage is to survive.
when it comes time for that first post-marital spanking - and in almost every relationship between a man and a woman, there will be that time - both parties sense that something needs to be done to break the a deadlock or power struggle.
While it comes as a surprise to most men, women are often the ones to perceive spanking as a viable option before the man becomes aware of the potentially effective solution. As one un spanked wife and mother admitted, "I have to admit that it [getting bare bottom spankings from her husband] would improve things."
Although there are many times when thorough preliminary discussions are possible - and desirable - by the time the relationship reaches some impasse over some unresolved issue, sometimes discussion is not as complete as it might otherwise be. A surprising number of first spankings in successful relationships seem to be more impulsive rather than meticulously planned ahead of time.
The good news is that, within the context of a functional marriage, much of the meaningful communication - consisting of looks, body language, and the like - is nonverbal. Even in abbreviated or abridged verbal communication, silences and intonations can speak volumes.
When couples arrive at a potential roadblock in their life together, it is often because some impediment to the relationship needs to be removed before they can get on with their life. It is at this point that the man needs to examine himself to determine whether or not he is not the source of the difficulty rather than the woman.
Under the right circumstances, a woman refusing to discuss a situation may be saying that she needs a spanking as much as the woman who throws a tantrum more befitting a two-year-old. Silence and coldness in a woman are, likewise, languages that a man needs to understand as emotional blockages to be removed through spanking.
Once a woman is made to cry, release of mental garbage soon follows.
It is important to understand that spanking is more about reaching a woman's mind than it is about taking her clothes off and positioning her body. The woman for whom accumulated guilt constitutes an emotional ball and chain may, even subconsciously, seek out a lover capable of taking her in hand.
When burdened by emotional baggage, psychological frustration, or overwhelming guilt, a woman is not so much concerned with the particulars as the result. This is why, unless there is some compelling reason to do so, women seldom offer specific details of their experiences. Merely to admit, "We had a very unpleasant discussion about my behavior," says it all.
Bring a woman to non-sexual climax - a release - as the result of a spanking is quite similar to bringing her to orgasm sexually. It has more to do with the man's understanding the woman and his timing than in the mechanics of the act.
Spanking is a seduction in which time and trust are more important than brute strength. Often, the goal is to finesse an emotional release from guilt or other emotional baggage that is not otherwise possible. A common intent is to stabilize the relationship rather than to punish any offense.
The physical act of spanking a woman is deceptively simple. Any fool can do it. The trick is to make her respect him for doing it the first time and expect him to do it again under similar circumstances. Although he does not have to be gentle with her, she does have to know that he cares.
Most probably, the male urge to spank and the female urge to be spanked are in the genes. It is nature's way of seducing couples to procreate and have a stable environment in which to raise their young. In fighting their respective urges - or worse, denying it exists - men and women are likely to become frustrated and even angry and the internal conflict escalates.
This does not mean that everyone has to run out and try to repopulate the world. However, understood within in the context - when the human reproductive rate had to be perhaps four times what it is now for humans to survive as a species - spanking as both a fertility ritual and nest-building exercise helps us to understand the deep urges. It also helps explain why many women marry the man who finally spanks them.
At some point, every man wonders how the woman in his life would react if he spanked her and every woman wonders how the man would do it if he did. It is a normal, although deep-seated, curiosity.
Consequently, even a first spanking does not have to be an artificially contrived event. Men and women in love often assume their natural roles in non spanking situations.
The bottom line is that couples have discovered spanking on their own. It is not something that has to be - or even should be - an overblown big production. Spanking is not theater. It is a highly personal and sometimes necessary component of a healthy relationship.
If it is important enough to justify a spanking, it is important enough to take the time necessary to accomplish the task. I am a firm believer that first spankings should have decisive outcomes.