I have only recently begun to read blogs on the internet that deal with the subject matter.
I wanted to take my two most important journals and put them into blog form as a way for beginners to come read and learn about a Taken in Hand lifestyle.
I'll call myself Sunny ( my nickname) here. And for the record, I'm just a normal, suburban Mom with 4 kids. We live in the typical neighborhood and have a pretty cookie cutter life. I think that helps some people first coming into this type of thing.
It's not all about freaks or fetishes or other things people call it, although some of it could be and or can be depending on the type of relationship you have with your spouse. (some freaks and fetishes can be great even!)
It also does NOT have to be religious, although we have recently began to put our faith more into the ways we are living our lives.
Since I'm copy and pasting, I'll be posting the journals on the same date. Some are from over 3 years ago. This has been a long journey for us and I feel it's best to start at the beginning so someone could see how this progressed since many people have SO many questions when it comes to Taken in Hand, DD, or CDD.
It's important for me to note that when we started out, we were not calling it anything but a lifestyle change. My husband didn't want to be a typical HOH (head of household) and was worried the lifestyle would make me his cowering flower, with no spunk and sass. THAT is the furthest from the truth I can now say. He has become more confident in his role as I have.
I had some serious doubts in the beginning, but we moved very slowly and things have changed so much. For those of you who can not understand how or WHY anyone would want a relationship like this, I hope the blog can be of some help. I can honestly say that our love for each other has grown 2 fold through this, as well as our household has become almost a well oiled machine (well, we do have SOME kinks left in it, some for good and others not so good) but life is always a work in progress.
I will change the font color for the journal parts.
Journal 1
These past few weeks have been interesting to say the least, and I'm glad to journal it because I think I really want to be able to look back on this and see whats become of it.
Thom and I talked about something. Something foreign and awkward and maybe uncomfortable for me.
A few weeks ago... Thom asked me about trying a Taken in Hand relationship. I have only heard a few things about this because Thom has a good friend that's been talking to him about it now for a few weeks. I'm not sure what to think of it. At first I laughed. I said WHO would do this? Then I thought how barbaric and what kind of woman would partake in that? I wondered HOW can a man love his wife, but want to boss over her?
I guess I should explain it since I'm writing to myself. ha!
So a Taken in Hand marriage, or relationship is one where the Husband dominates over the Wife.. but NO wait, that's NOT what it's about says his friend. (This is just sort of what I got out of it when he explained it)
His friend says that we "Truly can not understand the dynamic of the relationship unless we just tried a few things about it." He says "you can make it what you want, you don't have to apply everything it talks about on the site and also the most important thing is you NEVER go into the relationship without TRUST and CONSENT" These two things are the building blocks, and in time, through understanding and lots of working things out, WE could have the beautiful marriage he and his wife share...
Ok, this sounded just strange. Especially when I READ the Taken in Hand website.
Basically, Taken in Hand was about consenting married couples who practice a degree of domestic discipline... Discipline?? REALLY? Like what kind?
The site blew my mind. At first I completely dismissed the idea. FUCK NO! I thought....
But then... his friend tells us it's NOT all about what people on the site write. People take bits and parts of the practices and make it work for them, YOU create your own rules and when first starting out, maybe you only have a few tiny rules and see what happens over a week or two.
So... I was thinking "Yeh, OK whatever you freak!" and I dismissed it.
Well, fast forward to a week later when Thom and I had an argument. We were both pissed at one another and not talking. The not talking grew into a whole weekend of skirting around the issue and bottling up feelings until we burst out into another argument.
This is something that happens around here often. Arguments, not talking, being grumpy and ignoring each other then blowing up and having it out and then its over. A waste of a weekend for sure. Like a stupid circle dance we keep doing.
After this argument Thom thinks we could just TRY a few concepts from the site, and that he loves me and wants us to stop how we treat each other. Some concepts like watching out how we disrespect one another and catching ourselves. Stuff his friend told him I guess.
Ok - I agreed. We can try SOME things but not some of what I saw there.
He agreed and we decided that what we would do is make some ground rules for the house and how we treat each other. We were going to try to be more open and catch ourselves when we talked down to the other person (something I do a lot of to Thom, then he won't speak to me for awhile)
He agreed and we decided that what we would do is make some ground rules for the house and how we treat each other. We were going to try to be more open and catch ourselves when we talked down to the other person (something I do a lot of to Thom, then he won't speak to me for awhile)
We spent a week trying it. It seemed to work well for us. We were friendly and laughing a bit more than we used to and the kids were not even stressing us out as much since we had put them into some of our rules as well.
I am thinking that maybe there is something to this, but most of it right now is just common sense stuff about treating other people nice. I'm still a bit weary of some of the other stuff on the site. There are many many posts about actually disciplining your spouse. The thought of it is really something I can not wrap my head around!
